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Home Page › Society & Issues › Humor & Fun
 

Mad Cow

 

Author: Vicki Nunn

At 19 years of age, I knew little of country life, but became a Governess on a cattle property/ranch. While employed as Governess, I was expected not only to teach lessons to the two children and provide activities after school, but I was required to help with housework, cooking and other chores. One of my duties was to tie up the milking cow each afternoon in readiness for milking. Although the milker possessed one wicked looking horn, the Manager assured me she was harmless, and so I undertook this task for a few weeks without incident.

One afternoon I made my way to the shed and as I walked towards the milker she dropped her head and suddenly lunged towards me. I dodged behind a nearby fence, my heart pounding madly. Had I imagined that whole thing? Was the milker really trying to attack me? Regathering my courage, I once more made my way towards her, but the beast charged me again. I dashed out of the yard and ran back to the house.

After I waited for the Manager to return to the residence, I explained what had happened. He was totally unimpressed with my story and suggested his disgust at my town breeding. Grunting, he indicated for me to follow him, and we made our way back to the shed. When we reached it, the Manager grumbled under his breath. There stood the old milker placidly chewing her cud and looking anything but menacing. The Manager threw me a scathing look and muttered a few choice words as he opened the gate and confidently strode towards the cow. A couple of metres from the cow, the Managers footsteps faltered and I looked across as the milker slowly drop her head.

There was a long second when both man and cow regarded each other with suspicion and a hint of superiority. Abruptly the milker lunged towards the Manager, her one horn aimed straight at his belly. With an almighty yell, the Manager leapt up and over the one and a half metre fence in a huge leap, somehow just managing to keep his bottom from being pierced.

For a large man, it was an incredible jump!

The walk back to the house was very quiet, and after that little incident, I was no longer required to tie up the milking cow. I cant say that I was at all sorry. Comments about my town breeding were reduced to an occasional aside, and I think the little glint of triumph in my eyes discouraged any further comment from the Manager.

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Author Bio:

Vicki Nunn

In her spare time off from saving the world, Vicki likes to inject humour into her writing & her weekly radio program. Vicki is an author of several published short stories and of several as yet unpublished books. She gained notoriety in 2005 with a dishonourable mention in the annual international Bulwer-Lytton Literary contest for writing the worst possible introductory sentence to a novel - an achievement of which Vicki is quite understandably proud.

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