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Home Page › Society & Issues › Humor & Fun
 

How to Tell a Man from a Gorilla

 

Author: John T Jones, Ph.D.

Well, you can not always tell a man from a gorilla by looks alone, can you? Why just the other day my friend, Charlie Griffin, said while we were looking over the bikes of a motorcycle gang that visited our town, Look at that gorilla!

I said, Which gorilla are you talking about, thinking he was talking about a bike?

He said, The one by the red Harley!

I said, Oh! as in ho hum which means boring, dull, and routine.

The motorcycle gang had some gorilla-look-alikes but for the most part, they were just attorneys and doctors out on a weekend outing. They were better behaved than some of the so-called humans around here.

In fact, the gorilla my friend pointed out is a prominent entomologist who teaches in one of our finest institutions of higher learning. His name is Dr. Frank Foley, Ph.D.

I asked Dr. Foley, Dr. Foley, are there any major differences between men and the great apes?

He started his Harley, revved it up, and said, Not that Ive ever noticed and I studied insects in the mist of them.

He drove off, spinning rubber and throwing pea gravel into my face.

I thought, Would a great ape do that to a fellow ape?

I decided to make a further investigation.

It is not in my nature just to let a question sleep.

No! Ask any question:

The question will say, Jones the hack writer always keeps us questions awake. He keeps asking,

Is there a God?

Are there any planets in the universe that, in contrast to ours, have intelligent life?

Was all of the future determined in the instant of the Big Bang?

Where did God stand when he let the Big Bang blow?

Does God really have a wife like they sometimes tell us in Church?

Why cant I make a buck on the Internet or in mail order?

Does Sally Brown still hate me after all these years?

Is the Bible based partly on Egyptian and Babylonian science myths?

Was the book of Daniel written after everything in it had already happened?

How many walruses can you put on the head of a pin on a neutron star?

I wonder, Is Mary Hogan still alive?

Does Marilyn Monroes corpse still look good?

I read an article about Dr. Frank Foley, Ph.D. living amongst the great apes of Africa. He, of course was studying the bugs, not the apes, but Im sure that if he had seen some major differences, he would notice.

Well, the good doctor lives in a shell. I can see many differences. For example:

The great apes never had their own Childrens Crusade causing the lives of many children and sending the rest into bondage.

The great apes never started a major war where they daily blew the stuffing out of each other.

The great apes stick to their territory and mind their own business while men do not stick to their territory and never mind their own business.

The great apes never started a religion that led to intolerance and persecution of others.

The great apes never live in hovels (unless confined by man) that cause disease and suffering.

In fact, I think that man is jealous of the great apes. That is why he continues to slaughter them and to destroy their habitat.

Write that in you log Dr. Frank Foley, Ph.D.

As a footnote, its obvious we did not descend from the apes. No, we descended from sea-going crocodiles. Our many-greats grandparents are still living!

To study about the great apes, the following gives a list of sites you can visit: http://www.kcls.org/hh/primates.cfm

To learn about the Childrens Crusade go to http://www.fordham.edu/halsall/source/1212pueri.html

The End

Great apes, inhumanity, the Childrens crusade, Africa, Harley, apes, people, questions, God, disease, war, intolerance, habitat, characteristics.

Author Bio:

John T Jones, Ph.D.

Jones was a vice president of a Fortune 500 company subsidiary having the major responsibility for research and development and certain engineering functions. After he retired, he became editor of an international trade magazine. Jones is Executive Representative of IWS, sellers of Tyler Hicks wealth-success books and kits. He is a direct mail and mail order marketer and operates a dozen websites.

He has written three technical books, four novels (Bull, Revenge on the Mogollon Rim, Bone China, and In No Way Guilty), and many published papers on business, marketing, engineering and other topics. Details on many of these topics can be found at his personal web site.

Jones is a hack poet and amateur landscape painter. He lives in Idaho with his wife of 52 years. He has five children, three in medicine, a lawyer, and a portrait artist. The Jones? have thirty-two talented grandchildren (many with special musical talent and skills), and one great grand child.

Jones is a prolific writer which started when he was an engineering professor at Iowa State University (Go Cyclones!). He doesn?t know how to stop.

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