Not only are the Cubs charging in the National League Central this season, but so are their fans. The city is selling off pieces of Wrigley Field, one piece at a time! There is something for just about every price range, from $5 tickets from past games to a rare stadium seat that was accidentally colored wrong'priced at $1,500'and everything in between. There is even a pretty comprehensive guide of what was and, in some cases, still is, for sale.
But there is a rather bizarre twist to this. THEY TAKE CREDIT CARDS! In these days, when not only is our country almost 1 trillion (that's a lot of zeros, people! And half of that is to communist China) dollars in credit card debt,with a basic American household owing an average of $3,400 (and even McDonald's taking credit cards now), here is an opportunity for us to pump up that average even more. Not that it wouldn't be neat to own a piece of one of the most beloved'if not the most beloved'baseball parks in America, but this is just inviting trouble! In some states, people can buy lottery tickets with their credit cards... it just doesn't seem right. Although the proceeds go to a good cause, I can easily see an avid Cubs fan getting carried away with this! Can you imagine what that fan's spouse will think when they look at the itemized part of their credit card bill? I foresee a lot of Cubs fans getting the mail and hiding the bill in their billing cycle! How would one explain a $1,000 charge on the bill for old Wrigley memorabilia? Talk about an impulse buy! I can hear it now: 'Honey, what are these old bleacher chairs doing in our dining room and living room? And where did all our furniture go'? Hey, maybe these buyers can use the money they got for their furniture to pay for the bleacher seats! They can even make up some story about how a certain piece of their furniture has some historical significance, like... 'This is the Texas leather EZ-Boy recliner in which George W. Bush almost choked to death when he got wasted and atea pretzel!' (Oh, how famous a chair and a pretzel those would be! Such a conspiratorial couple that would make! They would surely be executed under the U.S. Patriot Act by burning, their ashes put on display at the Smithsonian! But not before the ticker tape parade praised them as 'The objects that saved the planet' and the ceremonial awarding of the congressional medal of honor'!). Well, you get the point. And what if they don't pay their credit card bill? Would the 'Wrigley Repo Patrol' come and repossess the items? How about if they lost their house or car or even had their wages garnished because they went overboard by buying a bunch of old bricks? Oh, and here's the neat part about buying a brick from the famed ballpark... with each brick is a map showing exactly where that brick was! Hey! This could start a whole new trend! Cities forced to build new stadiums or risk losing their team can sell off parts of the doomed previous stadium to help offset the cost of the new one! Even if they got just $1,000 (and what piece of stadium wouldn't get at least that?), that's $1,000 the citizens wouldn't have to pay! Here in Indianapolis, we are forced to scrap a 24-year-old, 63,000-seat dome stadium that cost over $300,000,000 and, during these financially tough times, pony up a stunning $1,000,000,000 (that's $1 BILLION!) for a 'Lucas Oil Stadium' that isn't built for decent acoustics and/or for baseball, should the opportunity come to us! Am I way out there in left field, or does all of the entrepreneurial imperialism hit just a little too close to home... plate? Whatever 'base' is, you have to give the Cubs 'credit': it's a great way to raise money. The only objection I have to it is the whole credit card deal. And with the new draconian bankruptcy bill that is now in full effect, which doesn't even allow a person to declare on medical bills and/or student loans, and gives no exceptions whatsoever to the tens of thousands of uninsured hurricane victims, it could be just too tempting for a die-hard Cubs fan to slide right into deep debt and strike out. And all to a bad, bad 'no-no decision' pitcher! This is just one of many, many reasons why I don't have a credit card! Perhaps the Bush Administration can raise funds to offset the $2 BILLION per week we are spending in Iraq by selling off the pieces of shattered buildings and lives the undeclared war has caused. Oh! Sell pieces of the World Trade building to help pay for 'Homeland Security.' NO, WAIT! How about an 'adopt a corrupt lobbyist program' to help pay off the 3 TRILLION DOLLAR budget deficit (much of it to Communist China...talk about 'Homeland Insecurity'!). THE POSSIBILITIES ARE ENDLESS! |
