Monday, February 27, 2006

This column is dedicated to those thuggish gangstas who relocate from inner city schools to "country" schools much like mine in years past. Whas up yo! Okay, some of these kids have roots in the city. But, we're not going to go as far as to grant them total street cred since many are from gangsta paradises such as Long Island and suburban New Jersey. Just because you move to the country from a city doesnt grant you the gangsta lean that you think you somehow deserve. Come on.

If your parents hadnt been worried about your upbringing and getting your ass kicked everyday by real thugs, they would have never moved you away from the city to begin with. And if you really were so hard, why the hell would you have to leave the city? Couldnt you fight your own battles in the streets? Whatever the case, the bottom line was these kids were mostly phonies. You have the saggy pants, two strap backpack wearing kid who draws amateur graffiti with sharpie pens on his sneakers and clothing. So by creating tags with bubble letters you are proving to us that you grew up in the worst circumstances in the hood? Jackasses like Vanilla Ice and Marky Mark just reinforced the image.

Real disadvantaged youth from hellholes like Compton and Watts existed on MTV and deserved all the credibility in the world, but then there were also the phony white kids who acted all hard and transformed their whitespeak into a loose tongued southern-slang sounding mangling of the English language. Whas up B? The lanky white kid from the Garden State, yes, he worked on his fathers TOMATO farm in New Jersey and had migrated to the suburbs in the tri state area and had all of a sudden gained a street accent, and thought that he had qualified for Section 8. It just didnt make any sense.

You cant transform yourself into a hardcore gangsta. If you werent forced to live that way due to your surroundings then youre just a phony ass punk who deserves scorn. If only "Malibus Most Wanted" had been released about ten years earlier so that these dumbasses could have seen themselves on the big screen.