Just down the street from where I have my office is a Lutheran Church with a sign outside on the lawn. "Pray for Israel-Psalm 83". That Psalm has come up a lot around here in the Bible Belt. So often Christian churches will seek out the Old Testament, Hebraic Psalms to reinforce a current insecurity that needs to be address in ways not necessarily spoken of by Jesus or encouraged in the New Testament. The Old Testament, for Christians, is where they go to discern the mind of God, when the love of Jesus just won't cut it, and there is work to be done.."In Him." Let's take a look at this Psalm and what it evidently means to the Lutherans. Psalm Chapter 83 1 Keep not thou silence, O God: hold not thy peace, and be not still, O God. Meaning: "Hey God, are you payin attention to us! Kick their asses for Jesus sake, Amen" 2 For, lo, thine enemies make a tumult: and they that hate thee have lifted up the head. Meaning: "Everyone is reacting to being attacked by Israel. It's not practical to do the "Love your enemies, Jesus thing at this time. They are defending themselves from rockets and bombs, bullets and depleted uranium. They are upset, angry and wanting to kick our ass for doing this. These rebels, lots of the Christian there too, hate you, so kick their asses too, in Jesus name." 3 They have taken crafty counsel against thy people, and consulted against thy hidden ones. Meaning: " We alone are the chosen ones. We KNOW this. These guys are smart and are trying to get around just holding still while we bomb them into eternity. They get together and try to figure out just who the guys are that are targeting their homes, hospitals and cities...bastards, hold still!" 4 They have said, Come, and let us cut them off from being a nation; that the name of Israel may be no more in remembrance. Meaning: " The Palestinians have noticed how Israel, who wants to be a nation itself, won't let others be a nation themselves. The people have noticed how those routed years ago when Israel came back to the land are being pushed into the sea as if they were not a people. The Palestinians have noticed how their not being any more in remembrance seems to be a projection of Israeli fears. Where's Rodney King when you need him!" 5 For they have consulted together with one consent: they are confederate against thee: Meaning: "So the got together to defend themselves, their homes, families and children, the hope of their own future and said, 'excuse me, please don't kill me,' or we're going to have to protect ourselves.'" 6 The tabernacles of Edom, and the Ishmaelites; of Moab, and the Hagarenes; 7 Gebal, and Ammon, and Amalek; the Philistines with the inhabitants of Tyre; 8 Assur also is joined with them: they have holpen the children of Lot. Selah. Meaning: "These are the bastards that are threatening Israel and have been for 3000 years which may indicate that no one seems to have the inherent ability to overcome tribalism, clan loyalties or national pride, even if a simple DNA test would should them all to be cousins, if not brothers." 9 Do unto them as unto the Midianites; as to Sisera, as to Jabin, at the brook of Kison: Meaning: "Cut them down, as you would with a sword, or just drive a tent peg into their heads while they sleep, because it's just cool guy stuff and makes us feel poweful and godly. Of course, we'll do it, but say that you, God, told us to." 10 Which perished at Endor: they became as dung for the earth. Meaning: "Grind 'em up for fertilizer, which is all they are good for, compared to US, who are the flowers of the earth that should thrive in the dirt of their decomposed corpses." 11 Make their nobles like Oreb, and like Zeeb: yea, all their princes as Zebah, and as Zalmunna: 12 Who said, Let us take to ourselves the houses of God in possession. 13 O my God, make them like a wheel; as the stubble before the wind. Meaning: "Keep grinding those bastards into dust for doing unto us what we first wish to do to them. And again, leave it really up to us, and we'll give you the credit God." 14 As the fire burneth a wood, and as the flame setteth the mountains on fire; 15 So persecute them with thy tempest, and make them afraid with thy storm Meaning: "Let it rip Lord! burn them all up. We love fire just like you as the death of choice. That will teach them. Make life hell for them and terrify them, for us, in Jesus name and don't bring up that Sermon on the Mount stuff quite yet." 16 Fill their faces with shame; that they may seek thy name, O LORD. Meaning: "Rip out their souls and screw up their minds big time. Make them doubt their own sanity and feelings about how life should be where they live, based on where they were born and what fear, shame and guilt based beliefs they had forced on them as children. This will surely make them apologize for being so stupid and come running to the Lord, and to Jesus, who show their great love by beathing the dung out of those that disobey them. For Jesus also will return with a Rod of Iron, which will ensure even MORE love of GOD on the planet and all men will stand and say, 'Thank you Sir. May I have another.'" 17 Let them be confounded and troubled for ever; yea, let them be put to shame, and perish: Meaning: "We know we asked you do this so they return to you (vs. 16), but we really don't want them returning anywhere. We are the chosen ones, not them. If you have chosen them, unchoose them now. Confuse them so badly that they can't think and let them be miserable FOREVER! In fact, first shame them, and then kill them for us, in Jesus name of course. Amen." 18 That men may know that thou, whose name alone is JEHOVAH, art the most high over all the earth. Meaning: "That all the nations of the earth may know that our God can kick your god's ass and we intend to spread our God over the entire planet, before they spread their god all over the planet. Let it be "God Wars...You're Empire Strikes Back." And with fire, and sword, death and agony of heart for those bastards shall we win them to thee, in love born of hate and peace born of slaughter 'In Him'. Amen. Ok, Now you can bring up all that Sermon on the Mount stuff if you feel you have to." How about "Pray for Israel, and let's not leave out the Palestinians, Lebanese, Syrians, Iragi's, Iranians and other generally human types who have lives, loves, children and a limited time to experiece conscious awareness as human being on the planet." Oh I know it won't fit on the sign, but it's a better command to those of us who have to drive by the Church and wonder why the Christians only pray for Israel in this whole stinking mess brough to you by the same people who raise your gas prices on a daily basis and insist everyone hates our freedom. |
